Hark! I’m On A Bike Club Ride!
(to the tune of “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!”)
Hark! I’m on a Bike Club ride!
I hope I picked one that fits my stride
Not too slow and not too fast
Not too short and not too vast
I started with a Happy Face
Then advanced to a moderate pace
Should I try something more advanced?
(For a full Quick Spin, I’m a bit askance)
Maybe a ride that’s a tiny bit faster
One step at a time, then all I will master!
I Have A Little Multi-tool (a/k/a The Sweep’s Theme)
(to the tune of “I Have a Little Dreidel)
I have a little multi-tool
It’s made from hardened steel
I take it on all bike rides
To stop those nasty squeals
I have a little multi-tool
It’s lightweight and compact
It’s tightened many hex nuts
To mechanicals I react
[Chorus:]
Oh, multi-tool, multi-tool, multi-tool
You’re made from hardened steel
I take you on all bike rides
To tighten riders’ wheels
I have a little multi-tool,
It’s handy as can be
Flathead screws or Phillips
We can fix them one, two, three!
I have a little multi-tool,
It’s not the fanciest in the joint
Gets riders on the road again
And catch up to the Point
[Chorus:]
Oh, multi-tool, multi-tool, multi-tool
You’re made from hardened steel
I take you on all bike rides
To tighten riders’ wheels
Our Favorite Food Rides
(to the tune of “These Are A Few of My Favorite Things”)
Let’s go to Harlem for Charles’ pan-fried chicken
And Astoria, Queens, for some Little Egyptian
Jackson Heights-Woodside for Esan-type Thai
These are a few of our favorite food rides
Corona’s our stop for some great empanadas
As we dodge SUVs and Hyundai Sonatas
We don’t leave the city but eat all over the world
These are a few of our favorite food whirls
[Chorus]
When we’re hankerin’
For some Haitian,
Or a panini or two
We jump on a 5BBC food ride and go
Or try John Brown’s bar-b-que
In eastern Long Island, we’re led by Bill Mastro
To pubs that have some of the most excellent gastro
Spumoni and pizza, or Bosnia’s pride
These are a few of our favorite food rides
At the 5BBC party, we can’t get much closah
To the excellent pizza from Da Nonna Rosa
“Try Trinidad Doubles!”, I heard some members cry
These are a few of our favorite food rides.
[2nd Chorus]
No food fakery
At Country Bakery
Just the genuine thing
We jump on our bikes and go ride
Is there any food anywhere that we… have…. not tried?
The Twelve Days of the Bike Check
(To the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas)
On the first day of the bike check, the point did say to me,
“We’ll be leaving very shortly.”
On the second day of the bike check, the sweep did say to me,
“Check your tire pressure
‘cause we’ll be leaving very shortly.”
On the third day of the bike check, the leaders said to me,
“Close your quick release,
Check your tire pressure,
We’ll be leaving very shortly.”
On the fourth day of the bike check, the leaders said to me,
“Tires should spin freely,
Close your quick release,
Check your tire pressure,
We’ll be leaving very shortly.”
On the fifth day of the bike check, the leaders said to me,
“The brake levers stop the tires,
Tires should spin freely,
Close your quick release,
Check your tire pressure,
We’ll be leaving very shortly.”
On the sixth day of the bike check, the leaders said to me,
“Handlebars shouldn’t wiggle,
Brake levers stop the tires,
Tires should spin freely,
Close your quick release,
Check your tire pressure,
We’ll be leaving very shortly.”
On the seventh day of the bike check, the leaders said to me,
“Pedals should spin freely,
Handlebars shouldn’t wiggle,
Brake levers stop the tires,
Tires should spin freely,
Close your quick release,
Check your tire pressure,
We’ll be leaving very shortly.”
On the eighth day of the bike check, the leaders said to me,
“Crankshaft shouldn’t be loose,
Pedals should spin freely,
Handlebars shouldn’t wiggle,
Brake levers stop the tires,
Tires should spin freely,
Close your quick release,
Check your tire pressure,
We’ll be leaving very shortly.”
On the ninth day of the bike check, the leaders said to me,
“Drop your bike 6 inches,
Crankshaft shouldn’t be loose,
Pedals should spin freely,
Handlebars shouldn’t wiggle,
Brake levers stop the tires,
Tires should spin freely,
Close your quick release,
Check your tire pressure,
We’ll be leaving very shortly.”
On the tenth day of the bike check, the leaders said to me,
“Helmet strap secure,
Drop bike 6 inches,
Crankshaft shouldn’t be loose,
Pedals should spin freely,
Handlebars shouldn’t wiggle,
Brake levers stop the tires,
Tires should spin freely,
Close your quick release,
Check your tire pressure,
We’ll be leaving very shortly.”
On the eleventh day of the bike check, another rider said to me,
“This ride may have to go without me,
Helmet strap’s secure,
Dropped my bike 6 inches,
Crankshaft isn’t loose,
Pedals do spin freely,
Handlebars don’t wiggle,
Brake levers stop the tires,
Tires do spin freely,
Closed my quick release,
Checked my tire pressure,
But the ride seems delayed interminably.”
On the twelfth day of the bike check, the leaders said to me,
“The point is now leaving!
Helmet straps are secure,
Bikes dropped from 6 inches,
Crankshafts aren’t loose,
Pedals are spinning freely,
Handlebars don’t wiggle,
Brake levers are stopping tires,
Tires are spinning freely,
Quick releases are closed,
Tire pressures checked,
We are leaving, finally!”